"To A Beautiful Woman"

To a beautiful woman, that touched our hearts
It's easy to say, it's hard to part;

But in all the haze, we know she's safe
In the arms of heaven, where she will wait
For us to join her, in future years
To lift our glasses together and cheers

To all the wonderful times we've shared
And every time we knew she cared
For you and me, and all things living
Her children, grandchildren and Kelsey kitty!

Although her time here was short
Her time above is anything but.
You know she's watching us all below
Sending her blessings to all she knows!

Each time she passes through your thoughts
Remember the smiles and laughter she brought
To all our faces and our souls
Throughout the years and forever more!

WE LOVE YOU SUANNE!

~by Tammy for Suanne

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kerrville Daily Times

NEW BRAUNFELS — Suanne Wooten Kuykendall, beloved daughter, mother, sister, grandmother and friend, passed away Tuesday, Dec. 30, 2008, in New Braunfels, Texas, at the age of 48.She was born in San Antonio, Texas, on July 6, 1960.

Suanne graduated from Center Point High School in May 1979. She is survived by her daughters, Kacie Mosmeyer and husband, Jeff, and their son, Blane, of New Braunfels, and Kelcie Wooten of College Station and son, Kyle Wooten of Aberdeen Proving Grounds, Md.; her parents, Sid and Rebecca Kuykendall of Kerrville, Texas; sister, Leanne Haley and husband, Clay, of Johnson City, Texas; sister, Dianne Kuykendall-Wade and her husband, James, of Rockport, Texas; brother, Dan Kuykendall and his wife, Kathi, of Hunt, Texas; and sister, Gyanne “Indian” Kuykendall of Kerrville; and numerous nieces and nephews.

Suanne continued her education by earning a real estate license and worked in that industry for many years. She was just beginning a new career in insurance. Although she moved from Kerrville several years ago, she still considered Kerrville home.

Suanne was a cheerleader her entire high school career and chosen homecoming queen and football sweetheart the same year during high school. She loved life and lived cheering everyone else on. Suanne enjoyed being a grandmother to Blane, and he loved his “Glammy.”

Visitation was from 5 to 7 p.m. Friday, Jan. 2, 2009, at Kerrville Funeral Home. Funeral services will be held at 1 p.m. Saturday, Jan. 3, 2009, at Kerrville Funeral Home.Memorial donations may be made to K’Star of Kerrville or the American Diabetes Association.The family invites you to leave a message or memory at www.kerrvillefuneralhome.com by selecting Obituaries. Select “Sign Guestbook” at the bottom of the individual memorial.Arrangements are under the direction and personal care of Kerrville Funeral Home.

Published January 3, 2009

Quotes from Dr. Smith (Business Professor)

I'm currently taking a boring International Business course, and the only way I survive is by surfing the net on my laptop, blogging during class (like right now), and checking FaceBook (of course).

Although the boredom level is extremely high - every so often Dr. Smith throws in some interesting comments, non-international business related, that I've really enjoyed.

Some quotes include;

"Your natural gifts energize you!"

This meant something because I feel like I desire a career that works with my passions, and even though I haven't quite achieved that point, I strive daily to get there. I found that quote motivating since it reminded me of my goal - to eventually be doing something I LOVE!

"All things are either coming to you or receding away from you."

After hearing this, I thought, "what a simple way to understand the events and obstacles of life"! Think about it - you could categorize your entire life into "coming" or "going" - WOW, that's pretty simple!

"The lightest light and the darkest dark come together at the center of the picture, ALWAYS!"

Dr. Smith was talking about how he paints and how artists see things differently, then he said the above statement. I took that statement, pondered it in my head, reworked it to form a type of analogy, and here's what I came up with;

In the darkest moments of your life (aka - where it feels like the "end"), it may actually be the beginning of the lighter part of your life (aka - the "new beginning").

Maybe your darkest moments bring about the most light!

So...

If the point where the darkest dark meets the lightest light creates the focal point on a painting, then maybe we could say that the most focused part of your life, is where the dark presents itself as a sign that the light is about to begin. A sign that things in your life are about to become clearer than you've ever seen!

So, next time you feel the darkest moments overcoming you - just remember the light is right around the corner, and it'll most likely be brighter than it's ever been!

BOOYAH!!- how's that for gettin' deep?? HAHA!

Sincerely,

~The Dark One (who's seeing a glimpse of light!)

Like A Watermelon

This world is made up of so many personalities.

From aggressive to passive, arrogant to diffident, happy to depressed, optomist to pessimist, selfish to unselfish, active to lazy - the list goes on and on...

Have you ever thought of yourself or someone you know as a watermelon personality?

Watermelons are very firm on the outside, they don't get damaged easily, and the outer layer is fairly successful at protecting all things important on the inside, all the soft, sweet, vulnerable innards of their being.

Have you noticed that when you go to cut into the watermelon it usually takes quite a bit of effort to make the first cut, but once you're through the outer layer, the inside is completely soft?

These watermelon personalities are tough people, can get things done, and don't let small issues get in the way. They are strong a lot the time, but are still human, and still feel. The problem with these personalities is how they go from strong to completely soft in just a single uncomfortable touch (the "knife"). Of course they recover fairly quickly on the outside, but the "knife" has left remnants of it's damage, and that damage lingers.

Of course I don't know any watermelon personalities...but I thought it would get you all thinking (wink wink).

Pretty random, I know...but WHO CARES!! Take it or leave, don't really care;)

Happy Tuesday!

Ms. Watermelon:)

Strange Memories As a Child

Have you ever thought back to moments as a child that seemed normal to you because you were so naive to the world? Well I had quite a few things that I didn't realize for strange until I'd tell someone and they'd give me that "squinty-low-browed-your-strange" look. So here are a few of my stranger childhood memories, which by the way I still think are TOTALLY NORMAL!

1. Getting a Ouija Board for Christmas from Grandma Scully

2. Cleaning the inside of the toilet with a wet rag (didn't know toilet brushes existed)

3. Taking the Twister game mat and putting water all over it in the basement to use as a slip n slide!

4. Sharing my entire 5 year old Winnie-the-Pooh birthday cake with my best friend Ceaser, the bull mastiff (dog). Let's just say Ceaser was a little "loose" after all that cake, HAHA!!

5. Walking to school in the blistering cold wearing the ugliest Napolean Dynamite boots (moon boots) that you've ever seen. Not only that but the boots didn't even work correctly so we had to wrap our feet in grocery bags then put them into the boots. Needless to say, friends were scarce in those days.

6. (sign of being young and stupid) My dad always sat in this brown wicker rocking chair, and I would stand on the side of it, with my feet on the curved rocking piece of the wood, then hold on to the arm of the chair while he rocked I would ride, and pretty regularly at least one foot would slip off and my toes were get crushed. I guess that shows how much I loved my Dad, I'd go through regular pain just to hang out next to him...awww!

7. My sister and I creating a game called "STINKY SOCK"! Oh MAN, this game was the best! We shared a room and had bed conjoined in the corner by a desk/table of sorts. One of us would grab a stinky/dirty sock and run over to the other ones bed and try to touch them with it...all the while the one getting attacked by this infamous sock is covered by their blanket, and trying to make sure there are no holes exposed where the stinky sock could enter. Once they were touched with the sock, it would be their turn to get REVENGE!! haha!

8. My sister and I climbing a tree. I let her climb up first (she's in a dress with tights, mind you) and I follow behind. Then she decides she has to pee REALLY bad, and so as I'm racing down the tree in hopes that I won't get pee'd on - there it goes - pee trickling down her tights...HAHA! Love you sis!

...more to come...

Any strange stories you'd like to share?

Craigslist Junkie!

Have you heard of Craigslist? If not, you are WAY behind the times;)

I have DEFINITELY heard of Craigslist, I have been a Craigslist Junkie for about 5 years now. You're probably wondering what differentiates you from being a casual Craigslist customer, to a junkie - well here's how!

Craigslist Junkies...

1. Barely go a day without visiting the site for SOMETHING

2. Most of the time they go to the site with nothing particular in mind to look for, they just need their daily dose;)

3. Have found many jobs and been given job offers (my last 3 jobs were found this way - all good jobs too: Marketing Data Administrator, Implementation Specialist, and a Sales Tax Associate)

4. Gotten parts in movies/shows/modeling (like being and extra on Friday Night Lights, being in an indie horror movie...)

5. Looked for jobs overseas in Amsterdam, haha!! (I'm a dreamer, I know!)

6. Purchased all sort of things

7. Sold all sorts of things

8. Gotten free stuff like Christmas decorations, halloween costumes, moving boxes...

9. Forwarded sooooo many ads to friends and family that they've lost count! Sorry friends;)

...AND FINALLY...

10. Wishes they had a wife-beater with rhineston lettering across the front reading "Craigslist Junkie"

So...have you Craigslist-ed today?????

Sincerely,

~Craigslist Junkie!

"Today I pray for the wisdom to build a better tomorrow on the mistakes and experiences of yesterday" (quote from "One Day at a Time")

~Thank you Mama!

OVER IT!

Have you ever used the expression "over it" when you're talking? It sort of works like a cuss word, you can squeeze it into many conversations!

For example;

1. Homework, urghhh! OVER IT!
2. Getting up early! OVER IT!
3. Excuse me, what did you say to me? OVER IT!
4. You're a mess! So what! OVER IT!
5. Damn, I'm full! OVER IT!
6. Frickin' traffic! OVER IT!
7. Damn, I forgot to shave, screw it! OVER IT!
8. I'm exhausted! OVER IT!
9. It's HOT! OVER IT!
10. It's COLD! OVER IT!
11. This radio station plays the same crap over and over! OVER IT!
12. Oh, that's your opinion, huh? OVER IT!
13. Creditors! OVER IT!
14. Rat Race...OVER IT!
15. Political Debates...OVER IT!
16. Obama...OVER IT!
17. Being broke. OVER IT!
18. Having a cell phone. OVER IT! (except for texts)
19. Analyzing. OVER IT!
20. Breathing dirt up my nose at ACL for an entire weekend. OVER IT!

Got any to add? Go for it! I'm sure you're OVER something.

Peace Out Peeps!

"FALLEN ANGEL"

I'm just a woman who desires and dreams
Pursuing that peace - so wonderful it seems
Moving through days, living in visions
Of what life could be like, if pursued as a mission

With a heart weighed heavy, and a mind spinning freely
This soul needs rebuilding, which in no way is easy!
There's wonder of a life, driven by destiny
In a moment of solitude, with just me.

When torn between heart and societal views
It's hard to choose the "right" thing to do
They say follow your heart and follow your mind
Which deems impossible when you're in this bind

There's logic and reason, enemies for certain
Battling for truth, behind the minds curtain
Will it be seen as failure or success?
I may never know, wow what a test!

~Tammy Scully

Happy Birthday Dad! - October 5th, 2008!

I, again found the perfect card for my Dad, and it crossed my mind that I buy so many cards in a lifetime but once I send them off I forget what exactly they said inside (you know it was good - but can't remember).

So I've decided to post the wording of my Dad's birthday card this year! His birthday is Sunday October 5th - so here's to you Dad! This card says exactly what you deserve to hear!

(Cover)
Dear Dad,
On your birthday,
I'm thinking about you -
how much you mean to me
and all the ways
you've made such a wonderful difference
in my life...

(Inside Left)
Thank you
for letting me know
I could always count on you,
that you believe in me
and you'd stand by me,
no matter what.
Thank you
for encouraging me
the dreamer in me,
for loving me
through each and every
fad and phase,
and for accepting my ideas
when they were different
from your own...

(Right inside)
Thank you
for having faith
during the times
when I had to do it on my own,
and for being there
when things didn't work out
exactly how I thought they would.
Thank you
for all that you are -
my wonderful, wise, and loving father.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY with LOVE

Love you Dad! Happy Birthday - see you in May!

~Tammy

Dust, Delirium and Dinero! ACL Fest 2008!

WOW - what a weekend!!

Have you ever been to the Austin City Limits Music Festival (ACL for short)? No? Well you should definitely experience it at least once - this year was my first experience. Although I attending this weekend jam session, I did it in a less traditional way - I worked a beer booth - whew - what a weekend!

Initially me and four other girls were planning to attend the ACL Fest but then our plans had changed for unexpected reasons. At about that same time a co-worker mentioned that she worked for ACL last year and made good money in just those three days. I ignored the opportunity at first, then thought, "why not, I could at least email them and see if they need anyone".

So I did. The response was "Sorry our tent is full". Bummer.

Then a few hours later I get another email, "are you still interested"? I'm like hell yea! $600-$800 for one weekend, I'll take it!!

But, shit, it's Thursday and I'm not even TABC (Texas Alcohol and Beverage Commission) certified and work starts tomorrow!

While debating on how to make this work I tell a friend and BAM she's interested too. So we both start the online TABC certification at abot 7:30pm and don't finish until 11:30pm Thursday night, then have to go pick up our packets and drop off our certificate.

We're finally official at 1am on Friday morning...HOLY CRAP, we already feel like we were working hard...haha!

Then we kick off the weekend at ACL!

The beer-slingin' begins!! So much beer-slingin' the first day there wasn't time to eat more than a package of peanutbutter crackers and a granola bar ALL day!

By the end of the day your pant bottoms and shoes are covered in mud, you've got so much dust up your nose that you're making soil, and probably almost growing a small garden or field of flowers inside.

Every morning when the gates open the AT&T stage plays a Star Wars type theme song and people actually run in (keep in mind this is a huge park and this stage is at the far end), holding chairs, bags, umbrellas, blankets, camping gear, etc...and they race for the front of the stage. It's hilarious! People running in actually make it funny by running in slow motion to the music like you're watching a race replay - it's great entertainment!

The last morning (Sunday) one of our tent beer-slingers decided he wanted to run in with the crowd, so he grabbed his bag, a chair from our tent, and LARGE garbage can with tons of empty ice bags inside, and threw a cowboy hat on that the wine company supplied us.

Then we all waiting to see him rush in with the others, racing them to the stage.

One fellow beer-slinger stood in the field waiting for him, and as he ran by we all screaming WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! An the guy waiting in the field throws water on him, all theatrical-like like we're watching Lance Armstrong cross the finish line in the Tour de France, haha!

Needless the say, the music was awesome. Our stage played some great acts (there are many stages) like Beck, Erykah Badu, Gnarls Barkley, and many more!

The last show of ACL was the FooFighters, which was near our tent, so you can imagine. Everyone in the entire park all crowd around the stage (and our tent) to see the last performance.

We're slinging so many beers at this point you're like a beer serving robot - "What can I get you, can I see your ID, sweet you're old enough, here you go" - then repeat again and again and again!

My friend and I spent an entire weekend living in delirium with fresh gardens growing in soil up our noses, covered in mud, with feet and calves aching beyond belief, and we still HAD A BLAST!!!

Definitely an experience! Plus, we were lucky to be making money while everyone else was blowing theirs - WOOHOO!!

If you ever get the opportunity to go to ACL, I promise it's worth it! Also, make sure you make it early at least one day so you can see everyone run to the front stage - it's too funny!!

Signed: "Beer-slinger"

Melanie & Me Pics!

Melanie Safka & Me!

Back in April 2005 I finally got to see Melanie Safka (better known as Melanie) live at Cactus Cafe in downtown Austin, Texas!

Here's how I became a fan (since I wasn't alive to attend the original Woodstock where she made her debut)...

I was in highschool at the time, driving somewhere with my mother when all of a sudden my mom decides to break out in song, "I GOT A BRAND NEW PAIR OF ROLLERSKATES, YOU GOTTA BRAND NEW KEY!"...and since I'm too cool to let my mom sing, I stop her with a diversion "What song is that?"

Then she explains that she always loved that song and it just popped in her head, then she makes an impulsive decision to take a sharp left into a shopping center where there's a local music store...and says "I've gotta get that CD!"

So, with a look of sheer confusion and surprise, I'm like, "okay...I guess...I don't understand what the big deal is...but I guess we're gonna find out shortly."

We walk into the store and low and behold there it is "Melanie's Greatest Hits" on CD. So she buys it and we leave. I'm like "whew, glad we got that all sorted out"...haha!

So she plays the song she was singing "Brand New Key" and I immediately fell in love with the song (I love all music, but in highschool especially loved cutsie songs, they fit my hippy/love everyone personality at the time)...haha!

Result: Mom never got her CD back, I officially ganked it from her collection before it ever had a chance to be hers...woops, sorry mom;)

So all of that happened back in like '96...and 9 years later Melanie shows up in Austin!!! So of course I call my mom to join me, and my good friend Heather (that heard me sing the song a million times throughout those nine years), and we packed up and went to Cactus Cafe to see her play.

She was AMAZING!! She sounds even better live!...she even has a good sense of humor during the show. She even explained how "Brand New Key" came to be. She originally wrote it with a cajun tone in mind (rough/raspy), but then the record label asked her to speed it up a bit, and that's when it became all cutsie - which she didn't like...isn't that funny...I love how it's cutsie!

Her son is also into music and has his own gig, but he was also her sidekick during the show. I kept getting chills throughout the entire show. Man, I loved every minute of it!

After the show of course I had her autograph my "Melanie Greatest Hits" CD cover, and a picture for a co-worker of mine that was also a fan. There's a small slideshow above with pictures from our autographing moments.

Here's to you Melanie - Please come back to Austin!!!

(signed) One of your biggest fans! The Tamster!

P.S. Just for the fun of it, I purchased an LP record 2 weeks ago - the "Gather Me" album and plan to get it autographed one day (if she'll come back) - her picture on the cover is beautiful! I think I was born in the wrong generation - frickin' luv the hippy look;)

P.S.#2 - I also got my little sister Kayla (12 years younger) addicted to the Greatest Hits CD, she's play it at night until she fell asleep - aww!

Jamie's 30th Bday Pics!

"My" Bucket List

I'm not a huge television viewer these days due to the chaotic schedule of trying to finish up school, but on a calm summer night a couple of months ago I decided to pick up the TV remote, click "Videos on Demand" and selected the movie "The Bucket List" - for a little light entertainment.

It really got me thinkin'...

Since I am definitely a dreamer or according to the Myers-Brigg psychology test - and idealist, it felt as though my brain was so consumed with ideas that I almost boiled over in the moment! All of my passions, thoughts, and ideas started to run rampid throughout my body and mind - I haven't been able to turn it off yet. One minute I'm a quilter the next minute I'm doing sales tax accounting.

Just for clarification, I've been this way long before I watched the movie, but the movie sort of turned on a switch and has forced me to organize every idea I had, and ask myself, "what is my bucket list?"

So basically I thought I'd share my list of things I'd like to do or achieve before I kick the bucket!

Enjoy!

1. Teach English Overseas (1+ years)

2. Get my Masters in Education

3. Live in a highrise condo downtown

4. Experience military bootcamp (interesting I know)

5. Create photo quilts to make a difference (for orphanages, melanie safka, etc.)

6. Start a school for children that teaches "life skills" (money mgmt, building credit, etc.)

7. Go to the North Pole (haha!) - I've always wanted to meet Santa in person;)

8. Interpret songs in sign language at a church

9. Get back my Irish heritage (long story...)

10. Play Comptine d'un autre ete on the piano! (and meet Yann Tiersen in person)

11. Teach special ed children (this is my retirement idea...)

12. Travel to Ireland, Poland, Australia, Italy, Greece, Spain...and so on

13. Drive a stock car on a full size motor speedway!! Living life in the fast lane!!!

14. Act in a horror movie

15. Read more...

16. Love more...

I could go on forever - but this is a good start;) I'll add more as they arise...

So, what's on your bucket list?

Perplexed By Society

We are all grown into a person that our parents hope we'll be, with set ideals, views, opinions of how things should be done and should not...

We are basically handed a huge piece of art that depicts what our life should look like in adulthood. Then as soon as we think we can take care of ourselves we start embarking on achieving that "picture" of greatness!

But...is it greatness...or just a picture?

For some, it probably is their true level of greatness/happiness...

...or maybe it's not but they're so pressured by society's idea of greatness that it's easier to go with the flow of society then to step outside of it and live it the way that makes them happy - happy at the core of their being.

So many are guided by society - which makes simple choices perplexing, and as a result they may never live a personally fulfilling life - or they will trick themselves into believing they are COMPLETELY fulfilled. Poor souls.

Have you ever thought about who started the whole "this is how we do it" idea?

Of course God created man to create relationships (friends, family, spouse, etc.), and He created us in His image - but it never talks about all the details on what we should own, where we should work, how much money we should make before we croak, etc...so clearly those are only societal successes - which will come and go - so maybe that's not where we need to put "all" the focus...hmmmm?

So, is it really about the "picture" that our peers want us to achieve so they can be proud of us, or is it about finding our true purpose and in that, find our happiness?

The perplexing part is the back and forth battle between...

Will society see me as a failure <---> Screw society, this is me and me being true to my core!

Lord let me decide on my behalf - and no matter how many successes or failures it may bring, let it bring me closer to knowing my true self - and closer to knowing you!

All choices bring some level of happiness and pain - but through all those events we will get closer and closer to becoming who we were meant to be from the beginning.

Take advantage of this life - don't be one of those people laying on your deathbed thinking - I wish I would've...........

Peace Out!

Junk Music Generation

You know how some people rant 'n rave about all their favorite musicians or bands from their adolescent/young adult years? Like, "Man! Van Halen, Rolling Stones, and The Doors were awesome! - they really rocked!!"

Well, here's how "cool" I sound when I repeat something similar but using musicians/bands from my time, "Man! Vanilla Ice, Paula Abdul and MC Hammer were awesome! - they rocked!!


...and wait, I almost forgot, so did Milli Vanilli!! - ooooo, blame it on the rain yeah yeah...

So maybe these songs are dorky and don't have a profound message...but hey people - like I had a choice? It was a junk music revolution and I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to dance in front of my entire family to songs like "Ice Ice Baby!"

I have a signature Ice Ice Baby dance if you ever want me to perform it for you...haha!!

So with junk music under my belt without effort (born into it), and some music exploration over the last decade or so, I would say I have quite a variety of lyrical knowledge. This is not saying I know all music (by any means), but I do know a ton of dorky music (like the ones listed above), and some artists such as;


They Might Be Giants, Violent Femmes, Melanie Safka, Loreena McKennitt, Bone Thugz n Harmony (haha), Cyndi Lauper, Dixie Chicks, Fiona Apple, Fleetwood Mac, Tracy Chapman, and even Hootie and the Blowfish, to name a few.

One group I've noticed that everyone knows except for me (that cover bands always sing) is the Beastie Boys - somehow I never listened to them during my journey to musical enlightenment, but I'm not sad about it - I don't really care, I just sit those songs out and drink a little more of my Crown 'n Coke to get ready for the next song I most surely will know;)

So basically I'm the girl that knows pretty much all of the cover band type music - plus a little hippie stuff, and the current teenie-bopper music you hear on the radio.

This is me giving you permission to laugh your ass off if you see me dancing to any of this music - it may be dorky, but then again I'm dorky - so we're a perfect match (me and my music).

What's Your Word or Phrase?

Have you ever thought about what word or phrase you would use to describe yourself?

Like if we were to describe certain cities, states or countries in one word maybe these are a few examples of what we'd use;

Austin = Active
New York = Success
Michigan = Depressed
Amsterdam = Quaint
Paris = Stuffy
India = Prayer (per the book I'm reading)
Rome = Sex (per the book I'm reading)

In attempting to find one word to describe myself, it was difficult. Instead I found two phrases that really seemed to sum me up (at this time in my life), those are...

"Butterfly in Chains"

and

"Fallen Angel"

As for one word, maybe..."Lost!"

Butterfly in Chains represents how it feels as though I'm ready to fly away towards the unknown, following my passions and desires, fulfilling as many dreams as humanly possible, exploring the world, and ultimately finding myself again - but the chains of life have a hold on me and so I sit here in chains like houdini trying to pick the lock and free myself.

Fallen Angel represents the amount of effort and the amount of years I had passionately put towards being as perfect as God intended me to be, then a decade later having all that hard work come crashing down on top of me. I have officially fallen - but I still know I have an angel in me that will figure out how to get back up and become the woman God had planned me to be. So I've only fallen for a moment - but will rise again in due time.

Lost represents how I'm torn between the two phrases above.

Butterfly in Chains + Fallen Angel = Lost

It's amazing how much you realize about yourself by just searching for your "word". Just when you think you've found the word, you think harder about it and realize there's an even better word. Here's to you and finding the word that best describes you at this time in your life.

Sincerely,
Lost

Why Blog?

Everyone uses blogs in their own way.

Some for voicing their political beliefs, religious beliefs, ideas on health and nutrition, book reviews, jibberish, etc.

For me, it enables me to talk without talking.

Have you ever felt like there is so much more to you than the average person knows - but you're never sure how to share that part of you with them?

Well, that's what I use my blog for - sharing "me"! Whether I'm getting emotional, stating funny facts ("funny" according to me...haha), or stories about childhood, songs I like, movies I like, hobbies I have or want to have, WHATEVER!!! - that's the beauty of blogging. It doesn't matter what the hell you talk about - because who cares!!

I mean, it's not like the blog monster is going to pop out of my computer with his feelings hurt, or maybe feel offended, or bored to tears, or laughing his ass off at me (like my sister in an earlier blog entry...haha!) - it's like an "easy" friend to talk to. It's awesome!!

As an example of how awesome blogging is, I met up with an ex-coworker on Wednesday for lunch and we had a great visit. Near the end of the lunch I had mentioned that I had started blogging because working from home everyday is a bit "quiet" and boring and I needed some interaction (with my computer - wow! what is this world coming to...haha!).

So I gave her my blog URL on an old crumpled up Target receipt in my purse.

Then today, I (again) go to the mailbox (the most exciting part of a telecommuter's day) and check the mail and there's a card in the stack of junk mail addressed to me.

I think - it's not my birthday? Hmmm...then I notice my ex-coworker's name on the back, so I open it and you wouldn't believe it...

...it's a card that has a spring-like raised picture on the front with a little purple bird flying overhead - then when you open the card it reads...

"Hope you have a little song in your heart today."

It was such a nice thing to do! She noticed that in various parts of my blog it sounded like I was having a tough time - so she wanted to send some friendly cheer my way - HOW AWESOME IS THAT!

It's hard to find people like that in today's world. So thank you "ex-coworker" for sending a smile my way!

...and I thought I was a little strange - a whole group is clearly worse off!

People really do this - OMG!! Maybe it shouldn't make me laugh, but it does...haha!! A bunch of naked people standing/laying on a glacier...HAHA!! Was that act suppose to stop global warming - NOT!!! Hopefully they all earned at least some hot chocolate after that event!

Have You Ever Thought...

I was driving yesterday and had a random thought cross my mind (happens often), then I thought why don't I blog this thought and some others;) Enjoy!

1. Does everyone else see the same red/green/yellow, etc that I see? Or do we just assume it's all the same shade of the color because as a child we picked up a crayon - learned how to read the color name - then associated it with whatever color/shade we saw?

2. Why do people buy exercise equipment that says "results not typical"?

3. If clowns are suppose to be funny why are so many people scared of them?

4. What's the point of a car dealership survey if the salesman asks to fill it out himself in exchange for a free tank of gas?

5. If you smoke through kemo - shouldn't that be called suicide?

6. Shouldn't people who complain about how difficult a technology is to use - NOT use it? (article on the iPhone yesterday)

7. Do dreadlocks stink? haha! I've always wondered that:)

8. Did you know that Jack-in-the-Box is giving away 2 FREE taco's tomorrow (Thurs the 26th) if you show them a gas receipt? Hmmm...creative:) Meet you there!

9. When are you too old to trick-or-treat? I feel like I'm never too old for FREE candy!

10. (Radio ad from a real estate company) "We'll help you buy a house and if you're not satisfied within 18 months of purchase, we'll help you sell it"...WHAT????!!!!! No shit you'll help them sell it, you're a real estate company and you want to make money on the same home twice!

11. You know those reflectors on the road that run along the center and outside lines? Well, I bet blind people could drive if they used them as braille.

12. We're "Going Green"! Don't you wish you came up with something as stupid/simple as that and it went nationwide in moments?

13. Guess what the movie "The Happening" was about? Well, it never tells you, but "it" just keeps happening!...hahahaha!! (FYI...horrible horror flick!)

14. Why do people order a Big Mac, Large Fry and a DIET coke? If you're gonna go crazy and try to kill yourself with a Big Mac and Large Fry, be true to your suicide and get a real coke!!

15. Isn't it strange how two people can eat the same thing and as one person puts it in their mouth they are completely disgusted and the other is oooing and ahhhing over it? Shouldn't it taste the same to everyone?

16. You know what sucks? When you have a professor that's too smart to teach you something...what kind of crazy shit is that! haha! (I just finished statistics - and this man was WAY too smart to teach us...haha!)

17. How do you get to a point where your alarm goes off and you wake up thinking "I'm gonna rob a bank today at 2 o'clock"? I guess I don't quite have a criminal mind so I can't imagine waking up thinking "today's the day!"

18. Have you ever been in another room when all of a sudden you "felt" like someone just turned the TV on (even though you couldn't hear it)? I do all the time - I was told I have supernormal hearing from a doctor - whatever that means?

19. Assuming there is a heaven - wouldn't it be awesome if it was like the movie "What Dreams May Come"?

20. Does the Container store sell containers for your containers?

I'm sure I'll come up with more in the future - hopefully at least one of these at least made you laugh, if not think;)

Happy Hump Day!!

Neither Here Nor There - or anywhere!

First, enough with the debbie-downer entries I've written!! F#*$ sadness!! I'm over it!! (at least for today...haha!)

You know what I've realized being married has it's downfalls, but from the many single people I know, single life has it's downfalls too!

Being married is great in ways such as; you have someone to share your "life" with - someone who can understand almost every one of your emotions, knows every inch of your body as if it were their own, there is never an uncomfortable silence, you make twice as much income (haha), you have someone that is willing to rub your back forever (not all the time, but when it happens it's nice not having to figure out how to do that yourself), etc.

Although, I haven't been single in almost a decade I know many friends/acquaintences that are single, some have always lived in the single world, and some have become recently single. I don't think I've heard any of these people say anything good about it. They only show frustration, confusion and lonliness...with a bit of some good partying on the side to spice it up.

This is not only heard from women but also from some men. Is this what men think sometimes, "instead of putting all that work into another human being it's easier to just meet a girl, woo her, get laid, then stop. Wow, must be easy for men - or is it? Not sure. Not saying women are perfect, they do their fare share of hurting men - but since men don't fall head-over-heels as easy/often as women do - we notice mens wrong actions more often.

Here's an example story of someone meeting a new "guy";

"Tammy, look at this guy, isn't he hot!!" "Hell yea!" I reply. "We've been talking for a little while now and we seem perfect for each other". "That's awesome!" I reply. "So why do you think you two are so perfect?" I ask. "Well, we have soooooo much in common!" "Like what?" I ask. "For example, everything I like he says he likes too!" Whooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-nelly...STOP right there!

This is where you have to stop and realize that liking the same things is ALWAYS the case in the beginning of the "potential relationship". It's like when a male bird stands tall and ruffles his feathers in front of the female to impress her or woo her - it's two living things working with the laws of attraction. You've gotta put on some kind of show in the beginning to get the girl to even take a second look at you.

This is why they say you never really know someone until about 2 years down the road - you may know enough about them sooner if their NUTS!! haha!! Usually if the person seems awesome and they can still manage to be awesome for 2+ years then - if you've ever liked the idea of marriage - it would be safe to say that you two probably have a good fighting chance of making it work.

I have had the strongest marriage known to our circle of friends, I know this because people would always stop us to compliment us - but as I've experienced recently - even the strongest marriage can start to fail if it's not taken care of appropriately. That's not to say it can't be nursed back to health, but that's probably the true-ist test of the strength of the relationship.

Coming from a married woman (me) I can say there are parts of being single that sound appealing like; do what I want when I want with no reasoning as to why, I can have quiet time when I want it, etc.

But, then there's the part where it's an idle Tuesday, I'm lazy feeling and just want to snuggle with someone, and they're not there - and may never be there - and that's a pretty crappy thought or situation to deal with. I can see how it would be nice to be alone when you "want" to be alone, but what happens when you want to be with someone - do you go out on the town and meet the next pecker looking for a hole to camp out in, get woo'd too far, get laid, then go home feeling even worse than you did when you left your house. It's all seems so perplexing for singles.

Of course men are seen as a stud if he whore's out his "goodies", but women are sluts - what kind of stupid shit is that!!!

Men go home after a night like that and think "hell yea, look at me, I'm the man! I can always get a girl to screw...woohooo!!

A girl goes home thinking; "wow, if he would just call me back and show additional interest then I won't feel like a slut, I'll feel like a girl trying to have a relationship".

Now you see why girls want you to call back - they can justify their actions if he continues being interested. So guys, at least go out with her one or two more times, then let her go - this way she can justify to herself and anyone she's told that she tried to make it work, but it didn't.

Men and women are clearly different creatures, but they're different in the perfect way! That's why we long for each other.

To all you singles out there; everyone wants to feel attractive (male or female) and the opposite sex is great at making us feel that way - so it's not all bad that we're impressing each other in the beginning - if all you have ultimately is the beginning, at least you had that moment of feeling really attractive and good about yourself.

Hey, maybe that's why some people always stay single, because they like the initial attraction so much that they don't want it to get old...hmmm?

Just thought I'd blab for a while. If you were bored - so what! haha!

Lost in Translation

What am I doing? Am I going up or down, left or right? I have no idea.

How long has it been since you've been on a night cruise - on a boat?

I just did last night.

The stars were bright, and the sky was dark. I was sitting on the left side of the boat, with one elbow hanging over the window, with my head comfortably positioned on top on my arm - I'm looking forward towards the bow of the boat, then I'd pan around to take in the panoramic view of the lake and hill country - it's beautiful! Just like the moment I went swinging and felt the wind through my hair - I also felt the wind blowing through my hair at this moment, but with much greater strength, so much strength that it was drowning out most of the sounds on the boat that I didn't care to hear anyway.

There was something so serene about that moment.

My first battle was tuning out the drunkin' obnoxious noise (don't get me wrong, I had a few heiny-lite's myself) which took some time, then once the hint was taken, it was wonderful!

It seems these days I have trouble hearing much more than the sound of a pin dropping. Anything more gives me a feeling of suffocation - probably because, although I'm not saying much of anything - which makes it appear as though I'm not thinking - it sounds like a punk-rock concert in my head. It takes a lot to drown out a punk-rock concert when you're standing at the front-center of the stage.

Have you ever layed in bed - when no one is home - with an almost perfectly quiet house - but it seems louder than it did with people there?

It's like the noise of other people doing random things helps to drown out some of the thought process - and then they leave and all you can do is think and think and think and think and think...

...It gives my brain more room to think/analyze/re-analyze and so on - which makes the conversation in my head frickin' LOUD!

When I got home last night and put my drunkin' partner to bed I was putting my pj's on - thinking, "I don't know what I'm doing - and that's sad".

How do you get a piece of yourself back that you've lost? Is there a book for that? Would staying in my relationship help? Would leaving my relationship help? Would teaching overseas for a few months help? Would time alone help? Would time with people help? Would therapy help? Would getting a new job help? Would swinging on more swings or riding on more boats help?

Not sure.

Ok, I guess that was a peak into the heart, brains and body of me (at this time). I'm normally a glass-half-full type person - I'm not usually so sad sounding, but as soon as I figure out the perfect medicine to cure my ailment, I'll be back in business! 'Til then, see you on the lake! (or swings since they're easier to get to).

INFP - That's Me!

I just have to share...

There is a great site that offers a FREE comprehensive personality test (it almost writes a book about you). I found it incredibly interesting since it was 100% accurate (I thought anyway)!!

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
(link is also in the left margin of the blog)

I am categorized as an INFP personality. You might ask, what the hell does that mean (like I did), then I was told that I needed to Google "INFP" and it would pull a TON of information on that personality type - and it DID!! So much information I can't paste it all in this blog, for fear of boring you to tears. If you interested in seeing the full version, here are the links;

Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving (INFP)
http://typelogic.com/infp.html

Portrait of an INFP
http://www.personalitypage.com/INFP.html

INFP Personal Growth
http://www.personalitypage.com/INFP_per.html

Here are my scores for the 4 areas I'm categorized under;

Introverted = 89
iNtuitive = 62
Feeling = 12
Perceiving = 11

Here's a small dose of what the links above said about me - dun, dun, dun...

THE IDEALIST (I agree already...haha!!)

As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

INFP's more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves.

INFP's are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.

Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFP's are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante. An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well.

INFP's do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFP's place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, INFP's make very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's persepectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.

INFP's are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFP's can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".

(a snip-it below fit perfectly since I've always wanted to teach - and will be teaching overseas within the next year)

*INFP's also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching*

A WOOP WOOP!!

...THIS GOES ON AND ON AND ON...I'm telling you, it's so true! It's awesome to read something that describes you so well...it helps you define the way you react to life, people, events, etc.

You should really do yours! If you're not too bashful, you can comment and leave your 4 letter code as the comment, because I'd love to learn about you! Brandie, I know you'll definitely participate, you love these things as much as I do;)

Come on chickens! Lets see how YOU do on the test - haha! At least you can't fail - or maybe you can, haha!!

Strange Thought...

Yesterday Timothy and I went to Mt. Bonnell in hopes to see the oversized moon that is suppose to appear over the next couple of days- but it ended up being too cloudy to see it:(

...but it was still nice to get out of this cave I call home.

So we're driving home, heading down Mt. Bonnell Rd. to 2222 and as I'm watching us drive down this winding road my brain decides to have a totally random thought...

"that would suck to die today because I feel like there is something more to this life than what I've done up-to this point"...then I thought "whoa, where did that come from?- I've always felt satisfied with where I was in my life".

I mean;

I'm still young-ish
I almost, finally have my Bachelor's degree (after almost 7 years)
I've become a quilter (photo-quilts)
I'm learning piano (which I love)
I've been in a committed relationship for almost 9 years
I have a little dog (named Zena)
No kids (can't juggle school and kids - and now I'm thinking about getting my Master's)

Suddenly, all of those things that seemed so perfect are not that perfect anymore, it's crazy?

Before now, that was a fairly satisfying to have the american dream but now, I want to LIVE...like finish my degree - go teach English overseas for 6+ mos. - continue applying for roles in independent films, and anything else my lil' heart desires!

Anywho, just had to share my random thought - since my blog IS titled "Thoughts" - haha!

The Meaning?

I love tornadoes!!! Okay, maybe I don’t like them enough to rip my home apart, or my body for that matter – but I LOVE the adrenaline that gets pumped through my veins when an intense storm is coming through.

You’re probably thinking, well that’s a random topic for the blog, well not really since I had a dream last night where I was caught in the path of a nest of tornadoes…woohoo! I didn’t want to wake up – the dream was way too exciting to wake up and face the cruel world awaiting me :(

I guess Larry was at work archiving some of my files. Read an older blog is you don’t know Larry yet.

So I’m dreaming I’m with my mom (away from home) when all of a sudden I look out the window and see a dark blackish-blue sky all around us. I tell her “come on – we'd better head back to the house so we’ll be there before the storm hits”.

Then POOF! (Larry grabs the “we’re home” file) and now we’re standing at her front door and she’s crouched down trying to get the key in the keyhole – and I’m crouched behind her thinking “hurry, hurry” it's almost here! Then I look behind us and I see a HUGE twister only about 200 yards away!!

As I increasingly feel stressed, I stop to tell myself to take a deep breath and chill (that was a weird part to me – because I even talk to myself in my dreams…HAHAHA!!), so I take a deep breath, and let it out…ahhhhh – then WALAH the door opens! Then we rush in, close the door behind us and run for cover!

In the dream we were in a cellar (my mom doesn’t even have a cellar…haha!) and the tornado rips through the house, right over our heads - the noise it made was ear piercing, and we just kept crouching low and tight hoping that we wouldn't get sucked away! Then silence. We’re alive…that was AWESOME!!!

Come to find out Larry (the guy in my head) put a blanket over our heads instead of the cellar…haha!! Larry is goofy sometimes :)

So we remove the blanket from our heads…haha…and then I look out the window and I see three more tornadoes swirling in a group all over the open field outside! Holy shit! This, again…is AWESOME!!

Not sure what happened to those tornadoes (I guess Larry dropped the file)? – but – now all of the open land is flooded and rescue boats are cruising out to help all the people that are alive outside – swimming. Needless to say, we survived.

Tornado chasing - wouldn't that be fun!!

Here is what http://www.dreammoods.com/ thinks;

Tornadoes
To see a tornado in your dream, suggests that you are experiencing some extreme emotional outbursts and temper tantrums. Is there a situation or relationship in your life that may be potentially destructive?

To dream that you are in a tornado, signifies that you are feeling overwhelmed and out of control. You will be met with a series of disappointments for the nexxt week or so. Your plans will be filled with complications.

To see several tornadoes in your dream, represents people around you who are prone to violent outbursts and shifting mood swings. It may also symbolize a volatile situation or relationship.

Hmmmm…interesting.

“Okay kids, class is over - any questions on tornadoes or how jacked up Miss Tammy is?”

The Perfect Man

If you could pick only one person in this world to survive through the end of the world with - who would it be? I definitely know my answer!

Is there a special "one" person in your life that you will always hold on a pedestal,

...a person that you can't imagine living life without,

...a person that can bring tears to your eyes with only the thought of them,

...a person who makes you feel centered and at ease when they're around

...a person that loves McDonald's fish sandwiches as much as you do?

Well I definitely have that one person. My Dad!...the perfect man!

I may have a biased opinion since he is my father - but whatever the case he is my #1 love! If I was only allowed one person to trudge through life with, it would be him!! When people talk of unconditional love - that is exactly what we have.

I have put him through some tough times; like moving to Texas (from Michigan), having a crazy manipulative boyfriend that was introducing me to tons of "wrong" paths for about 4 years, etc. - but I thank him for being there for me and listening to my stories no matter how much he loved or hated hearing them. He has definitely always been there when I've needed him most!

He has worked so hard for his family and has provided us with the stability a family needs to grow and become successful! Even if he wasn't completely satisfied with the way things were going, he never gave up on the family!

My dad is a HUGE sports fan - so much so, that he and my sports finatic grandmother put me in hockey when I was 4 yrs. old...haha!! You should see the picture of me in my hockey gear - it's hilarious! I was the first child of my father's and everyone was anticipating a boy (with the name Reed...yuck...glad I was a girl...haha!), then I popped out and they thought - that'll work, just give her a hockey stick, skates and a helmet, she'll be fine! Well, until I busted my lip a half a dozen times on the metal chair I was pushing around the ice rink...haha! I would've rather learned to be the zamboni driver than the skater (don't know what a zamboni is - look it up). Needless to say, my hockey career abruptly ended. Lucky me, my dad had a son (Ryan) about 7 years later and he's been in hockey since he was 2 yrs. old (he's 21 now)...so my dad got his boy;)

I can also give him credit for making me ambidextrous (using both hands). I was born a lefty so I do all articulate activities with my left hand (writing, eating, etc.) but because my dad was always teaching/playing sports with me and since he is right-handed, I would copy his form in throwing baseballs, footballs, etc. which has made me right-handed in almost every sport (except shooting pool...I'm ambidextrous when I play pool - oooo, I must be good then, huh?...haha!).

Anywho, I was just thinking last night in bed, that if I could have one dream fulfilled (besides teaching English overseas) what would it be? - and it is most definitely to have my father closer than 1200-1400 miles away. If I could have any wish it would be to wish him to Texas!!!

Dad, this is for you (even though you don't know to read my blog...haha!)

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!

Do You Know These People...

This just crossed my mind this morning when I was on the Alamo Drafthouse website (love that place!) and I saw the ad for Rocky Horror Picture Show...

Isn't it strange that there is still a cult-like following that attends that movie on a regular basis, brings their props (newspapers, water guns, umbrella's, toilet paper, etc.), and watches the movie again and again - not to mention they know every word (pathetically), and can't help themselves but to talk through the entire movie?

Have you ever known one of these freaks?

Well...

Now you know one ;) Well I've actually only seen it at the theater once, about 5 years ago. I was raised watching horror movies (demented - I know) and somehow Rocky Horror Picture Show was introduced to me as a child and before I had time to hate it (because it's frickin' weird) I already loved it - and knew every word!

When I went to the theater 5 years ago - I heard that it was a fun experience and since I love doing random activities I figured I'd take my brother (who was also raised watching it) and we'd see how it was.

Well - it was HORRIBLE!!

It was a bunch of freaky teenagers looking for a place to belong in society - and low-and-behold this was their "place" in society - a weekly showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show!!

...at the $1 theater, mind you.

They all came dressed in the costume of their favorite character and would get up in front of the movie screen and act out the part as it played on the big screen - annoying to say the least since I actually enjoy the original actors much more than these kids.

The worst part was when my favorite character Columbia (girl that has the hots for Meatloaf the biker) - was at least 150 pounds heavier than the actual Columbia and she came to the theater wearing a lingerie type bustier (black) and little lingerie black panties.

I'm not a shallow type, but when I have one picture of Columbia in my head - and then I throw 150+ lbs on her and keep her in the same outfit - it's enough to make you a lil' nauseous and embarrassed for the girl not realizing how "whoa" she looked.

As soon as we (my brother and I) see her walk out, we sink lower in our chairs in hopes that no one notices the halfway normal people sitting there laughing (with tears rolling down their faces) at her - I think we were laughing mostly due to being completely uncomfortable and 100% embarrassed for her.

"A poor young girl is blinded by her peers - and is somehow convinced that this was a great idea"

Needless to say, my brother and I left about halfway through the movie since it was killing us to sit there and try to watch one of our favorite movies with a group of crazies standing in front of the screen blocking the view, while toilet paper was being thrown through the room and hitting us on the head - over and over.

It's a horrible experience - unless you like being 100% distracted while watching a movie;) I do have to say - I give that girl some props for pretending no one's watching - but you wouldn't see me up there like that - you'd only see me dressed that way if you were my man, and I was being your bedroom canvas - not at a public theater for the world to see;)

(for the RHPS fans)

Time Warp Chorus

It's just a jump to the left,
and then you step to the riiigggghhht,
put your hands on your hips,
and bring your knees in tiiigghhht,
and do the pelvic thrust,
and then you drive it in-saaaannnee,
let's do the time-warp agaaaiiinnnn!!!!

HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13th!!!

In the spirit of this "scary" day - I'm going to see "The Happening" (horror flick that just came out today) at the theaters tonight...can't wait!

LUV HORROR MOVIES!!

Crusties...

It is so interesting how everyone's brain and emotions create different reactions to things in life. The subconscience never fails to amuse me. I'm sure you've noticed yourself or someone else having a strange way of doing certain things - and you think "why do you do that?" Some people may call these instances - pet peeves OR hang-ups.

I'll admit I have a few;

One was pointed out to me last night. I finished my dinner and was craving a glass of ice-cold 1% milk. So...I grab the milk out of the fridge, grab a cup from the cupboard (or...cabinet), popped the lid off the milk jug, then discretely blew on the opening of the jug.

My sister-in-law starts busting out laughing and says "I thought you were about to take a drink from the jug!"...then I explained to her that I would never drink from the jug because of how disgusting it is! I mean, does she realize that the rim of jug opening is covered with little white crusties!!! I guess not. Then I clarify that I was just blowing the disgusting little crusties off the opening so they wouldn't fall into my milk.

Although I logically know it won't kill me to have crusties in my cup of milk, psychologically it grosses me out. Watch out for the crusties next time you poor your milk!!!

I guess we all know that I could never be a contestant on Fear Factor. They'd say "Ok Tammy, it's your turn. You've got 10 seconds to drink this glass of crustied milk - ready, set, go" which is then my opportunity to say "I'M OUT!! and you can shove that $50k up your (blank)!!!

A few others;

Eating my food in order (is it so horrible that I like to enjoy each individual item separately?)

Checking behind a shower curtain in an unfamiliar bathroom (some weirdo could be enjoying the sound of people using the restroom...gross!!)

Putting on the toilet paper roll so it rolls off from the top (duh! thousands of hotels know the right way, so maybe you should, haha!)

Folding the clothes as they come out of the dryer (not chunking the pile of clothes on the couch or bed and letting them get completely wrinkled - if you pull them out fresh and hot, then you'll save yourself the hassle of ironing - get it?)

What are your hang-ups?...and don't say you don't have any (because you do).

Amelie (if you're interested)

This is a great Amelie glimse (it's not only a love story - it's about her corkiness, friendliness, and different view of the world. This movie is probably more for the girls, but guys could enjoy it too (I think)

Comptine d'un autre ete!

Song I hope to play in the future! Close your eyes and listen - it's beautiful!

Follow Your Desires...

This is for all of you out there that have dreams - or things you wish you would have done but now feel that you've missed out on...

I am almost 30 and have just picked up piano lessons. Some may say I'm too old to learn piano (because they're too afraid to try), but I don't feel that way. I took piano as a child but would get bored learning sheet music - I preferred to just sit at the piano and play by ear. Being an introverted, self-entertaining type, piano was something I could sit and spend hours figuring out and I didn't need any help doing it (which was great for me since I preferred to hang out by myself...haha!).

My grandmother (which passed away in '94) was a pianist and loved showing me how to play songs. Frequently while at her house - when I wasn't "falling down the stairs" - I would just sit at her piano and figure out childrens songs by ear - no sheet music. I would just play what I heard in my head. When my grandma noticed that I was figuring out these songs on my own she decided to get me piano lessons. I was soooo excited! But when the teacher would show up and make me do chord after chord I got bored. So after a few months (I don't remember how long) I quit - now I wish I would've stuck with it.

Regardless, I'm back!! This time I'm sticking with it! Even though I'm back to playing very basic songs, it's nice to finally be able to read "some" sheet music again and play even simple songs.

My hope is to play Comptine d'un autre ete by Yann Tiersen (He's AWESOME!!) within the next year or two...we'll see. I would love to hear someone play it - live - for me - I would most certainly melt. A video of the song is above this blog entry - if you care to hear (it's even better when you close your eyes and listen). Another great part about this song is that it's from my ALL-TIME favorite movie Amelie (www = well worth watching!!)...about a girl that see's the world from a different angle - which feels like me most of the time! A preview video is also blogged above - enjoy!

Best wishes on following your dreams/desires no matter what anyone else thinks! We only live once - so don't miss your opportunity to shine!

Just Being a Kid...

It's funny remembering when I was a kid and all the things I did to entertain myself - I'm sure we all have funny childhood memories - here are a couple of mine (I could go on all day!)

Picture this...

Me and my sister (we were about the same age - step sister of course, not twins) were at my grandparents house in Michigan and we were trying to entertain ourselves since they didn't have any toys there - so we climbed to the top of the stairs and decided to come up with as many ways to go down the stairs as possible.

We take turns - we walk down head first with our hands, slide down on a blanket (somehow you'd always lose the blanket before you got to the bottom), scoot down on our butts step-by-step, etc. - then I'm up next to get creative and we've sort of run out of ideas - then I think "HEY!! I KNOW!! HOW ABOUT A SOMERSAULT DOWN THE STAIRS" - I quickly found out that the real name for a somersault down the stairs was called...

FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS!!!

So, I "fell" down the stairs - landed at the bottom completely disoriented (I swear little birds were flying around my head), and as I regain my focus my sister is standing there pointing her finger at me and laughing her ASS off!! So, to avoid even more embarrassment I went ahead and laughed along with her - needless to say, I've never done that again!

How about the infamous game of Hide-and-Seek!

MAN! I was the BEST hide-er in probably the entire 2nd grade!! One day me and my sister decided we'd like to play hide-n-seek - so we played a couple of rounds when it became my turn again to hide.

I thought "I'm gonna find the best hiding place in this whole house and she'll never find me!" So I start running around the house looking for that perfect place to hide while she's counting down - the stress is on... "8, 7, 6 , 5..." then I notice my dresser sitting there and realize that I'm small enough to squeeze underneath, and I think she'll never know to look there!

So, as I panic because she's almost to "1" I cram my head under the dresser, scraping the shit out of it (there were some artsy wood designs that had sharp points on them), and eventually got underneath - WOOHOO, she'll never find me! There were multiple times that I saw my sisters feet walk past me and just like I thought - she had no clue!

Then she decided she didn't feel like looking for me anymore (that's how AWESOME I was...haha!) so I started to get out, when I quickly realized I couldn't push my head back out (oh shit!). Then I think "how the hell ("heck" probably since I was in the 2nd grade) did I get under here, if I can't get out?...it must've been the stress of the countdown that made me work harder at it" - so then I start yelling for my sister to come help me out - and there she is again - laughing her ass off and pointing her finger at me...(do you see a pattern yet...haha!) Eventually I got out (somehow?).

But no worries - I eventually had the opportunity to laugh at her! It was when she decided to hide in the washing machine. She wrapped her legs around the center pole and sat indian style inside, then when she tried to pull herself out when I found her, she couldn't get her legs undone...haha!!! That was my time to point and laugh!!

Love ya sis!!

Forgot About Swings...

So, I went running last night and after about 2 miles I decided to walk for a moment while I passed a nearby elementary school. As I was passing by, a song called - "Just a Ride" by Jem came on (haven't heard it before). Then I notice that the song was saying "life is just a ride, it will always have it's ups and downs, and you can't ever get off" (which means a lot currently) - then at that exact moment I turned my head to the right with a numb stare, and as I panned to the right - BAM! my numb stare turns into one of feeling and my eyes get fixated on a set of swings standing lonely in the park.

So...

Randomly I thought, "I use to love swinging as a kid, I wonder if I still do?" So of course I had to try it out...haha!

So, there I am swinging on a swing, alone, facing the main street in the neighborhood (in other words tons of cars are driving by), and just about every car driving by, and every person walking by would take a look - probably thinking "look at that bored, lonely soul swinging alone at an elementary school park" or maybe they were thinking "look at that hot mama swinging on the swings"...haha!! - and so to drown out the people staring and driving myself crazy thinking about what they were thinking about me, I just closed my eyes, listened to "Just A Ride" and enjoyed the feeling of the wind through my hair - and the feeling of weightlessness. I had a GREAT time! Dorky, maybe? Don't care! Adults should swing more often, alone - it really is peaceful once you close your eyes and enjoy! Next time I feel like a need a little piece of mind - you know where you'll find me - swingin'!! (but in the back of the park this time to avoid all the people...haha!)

When's the last time you've hopped on a swing?

Living Life Through Music

Are you one of those types that relate all of your interests, emotions, dreams, motivations, happy-times, sad-times, and all other times in your life - to music?

I am.

It's facsinating how music can articulate your feelings in a way that arranges them in perfect order - like a puzzle, completed. I like all music (even the stuff you're embarrassed to say you know - like Miley Cyrus...haha!), but my favorite music comes from artists that use a deeper level of thinking and that create a beautiful picture of these feelings!

I've noticed that at different moments in my life there have always seemed to be a theme song.

1. In highschool I would say my theme song was "Sunshine Day" by the Brady Bunch probably because I was young and felt like I had a sunshine-type personality - at least that's what people told me;) So this wasn't too deep...haha! Shit, I was still a kid for God's sake;)

2. In my early adult life (16-20) my theme song was "Never Ever" by All Saints - had an a-hole boyfriend (the brainwashing young girls kind of guy) that used me as his doormat - and I was too young, nieve and nice to notice - well until 4 years later when I said "Peace Out A-hole!...good luck with your next young, nieve, nice prey!"

3. From about ages 21- 24 it was "Spend My Life With You" by Eric Bennett - because I got married at 23 and this song described exactly how I felt leading up to the wedding and during the wedding (and of course after too).

4. From about ages 25-28 there were a couple songs that were used as my theme, they were "Let's Get It Started" by Black Eyed Peas AND "What You Waiting For" by Gwen Stefani - I was focusing on motivation, exercise (running), becoming a better person in general. I was looking for any songs that created motivation - the "YOU CAN DO IT" type music. Those types of songs can move me for miles;)

5. My current theme song is "Wild Horses" by Natasha Bedingfield (she re-did this song, but it's awesome!). This song bascially takes my feelings and lays them on a platter for everyone to see and understand. This is the only song that can calm the pain in my stomach and head. Other songs that fit into my thoughts these days (on a more fun, day dreaming level) are "Into the Ocean" by Blue October (as you already know from an earlier blog I wrote), "Ticks" by Brad Paisley, "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" by Big N Rich, (this just in) "Just a Ride" by Jem....basically anything that reminds me of who, and what is currently playing in my head.

So, what is your current theme song?

Do You Know Larry?

Ok, turn on your imagination switch and keep an open mind. Do you know Larry? You do, you just don't know it yet;)

Here goes...

Picture a HUGE library with shelves full of files (instead of books) reaching all the way to the top of a 40 foot ceiling, in a building as exquisite as a library you'd see in a Hollywood film (at least that's how I like to picture it). These shelves are along every wall and almost every open space in the entire building. Each shelf section has its own fancy cherrywood ladder that is used to retrieve files beyond arms length. When you walk in the door of the library and see this phenomenal display, you will also notice a large front desk with a man sitting there looking exhausted yet alert.

This is Larry, the man responsible for all of your thoughts, dreams, ideas, and even brain-farts on occasion.

Have you ever had a moment where you're about to say something and you forget what it was (aka "brain-fart)? Well, here's what happened (this is the part where you imagine)...

Larry hurries to the ladder, climbs up it as fast as he can (because it's time critical info), finds the file, opens it and splat! - he drops the file and every paper inside falls to the ground, gets mixed up and out of order. There you stand, stumped for what to say. You keep saying "It's on the tip of my tongue...hmmm..." then you start to move on to another conversation when DING! you remember what you were about to say! That's because Larry has reorganized the file (quick-like) and found the information you needed. Thanks Larry!

What about when you dream? Well during our time of rest, Larry is still hard at work, but now he's busy archiving old useless information to make room for the new. For example I've had dreams that make no sense - it's like someone (Larry) took a bunch of random crap, put it in a pot, mixed it up and made a story out of it. (*Pretend Conversation*) "Hey, Susie I had this weird dream - I was driving my car when all of a sudden a cowboy was riding on the roof screaming "yee-haw", then as I looked out my car window to see what he was doing, I was sucked out and immediately started to fly through a sky full of flowers...WHAT??!!! This is a perfect example of Larry taking the thoughts you don't need anymore and giving them one more chance to prove themself important before tossing them in the trash. Thanks again Larry!

I wish I knew how to give Larry a pay-raise to trash the tons of thoughts I've had lately, that way I could reduce the amount of time I keep analyzing and re-analyzing life (aka - making Larry run around the library like he's on methamphetamine's)

Now, do you know Larry?

Red Buttons @ Crosswalks - Ridiculous!

Have you ever stopped to think about those big red buttons at crosswalks - for the pedestrians? Well I have.

While sitting at a long red light in a daze (a few years back) I focused in on this poor pedestrian soul pushing on the red button over, and over, and over again in hopes that he could actually make the walk sign light up faster. After he had pressed it at least 15 times (no exaggeration), I started to grin (and chuckle inside my head). The thought that visited me was, "that button doesn't do a thing!" I mean, does this guy actually think the entire streetlight switchboard would change just so he could walk across the street....NO!!

We all want to feel like the world is our oyster and that the world revolves around us and our desires, but the truth lies in the red button at the crosswalk. This world does just enough to satisfy our psychological desires (like our inpatience), and nothing more.

We all can learn something from those little red buttons;) I guarantee you'll never look at another pedestrian pushing a red button at a crosswalk again without the conception of a huge grin, and maybe even a chuckle inside your own head;) Happy driving!

Paralyzing Thoughts

Have you ever been paralyzed by confusion?

If you were a fly on the wall and saw me become paralyzed earlier today (walking up the stairs, then getting in a push-up position on the stairs and holding myself there for a few seconds), you would've either died laughing, or stared at me like I was strange;) It is interesting how your body deals with life's ups and downs. It's like that song by Blue October (LUV THEM!!) called Into the Ocean. It's like your treading water and everything is calm, then small waves start to interrupt your tread, which are then followed by larger waves - then you're paralyzed in thought (like you're staring down at your stairs in a push-up position...haha!) as to how you'll fight the waves and swim past them to the calm waters ahead that enable you to tread again?

On a lighter note - one thing that helps is a nice long run, with music jamming from your iPod, while you sweat out the confusion and replace it with temporary clarity:) I'm off to run - talk to ya later!

Back for a second round!!

Well, I'm back. I've had a blog before http://www.tamsterfun.blogspot.com/ but it ended up being more of a photo diary of my days...boring!! So this time I'm going to plan to pick my brain for any thoughts (meaningful or senseless) and hopefully it'll actually be a little entertaining this time.

About me (if you don't care - don't read):

Born and raised (until I was 15) in and around Detroit Michigan (the BIG "D") Moved to Texas in '94to redirect my destiny from a boring existence in Michigan to an existence of more substance in the Heart of Texas!!! I have come across many things (easy and challenging) but don't regret anything since it's those things that have made me the person I am today (graduated from dork to dorky-diva...haha!!) I may know how to put on a cute outfit and flat-iron my hair (which by the way is the most annoying, time consuming process on earth), but 99% of "me" is ready to scream "look at how retarded I am"...and..."would you like to join me in this retarded adventure"!! Have you ever seen the movie "The Holiday", well the part where Cameron Diaz is in London, alone, and she cranks up some Majic 95.5 music and just starts dancing her ass off (like a dork)...well that's me. Close the door and there I am!!